Life 002 — Why do I prefer not to share my life update with my friends anymore?

My little everyday journal.

As we grow every day, a lot of change occurs. We accept some, we get irritated with some and we don’t think about some. But things go okay, we deal with everything when our family and friends are there with us. Right??!

But what do we do when our friends are not there with us. Have you wondered ever that? Initially, we don't get that until something like that happens in our life. I am the kind of person who loves to love people. I mean if you are my people you will never see me jealous of your success, I would hype you like anything, I would love to make you feel secure. But I am not that person anymore. I lost these feelings inside me, honestly, if you are my friend now I won't be able to give you anything.

I can’t tell my friends anything like this cause they feel I am okay with them, but they don't know they have lost me cause I am on my journey to find myself. I am keeping myself above everyone but that doesn't mean I would hurt you. I will be there for you if you need me but I won't get it anymore until and unless you tell me what is troubling you? You can have my ears but not my heart.

Why ??!!

I never expected my friends to be there for me, if I will say this I would be lying. I am never scared in my life, I am never scared to fail or take risks. It's just mountains that scare me, anyway. So in short I was in deep shit some years back emotionally and professionally. I was in a lot of pain and totally out of frame. I really my friends a lot. I admit I was irritating a lot that time. Usually, I make sense but those some months believe me I didn't at all. But I would be honest, I indeed needed my friends. Turned out they were shouting to put sense into me when I wanted them to be a little patient. Cause that was not me, I always come out of the hit. I always take care of myself. But it was hard, it was really hard. At least this thing I can say proudly, I never turned off on my friend.

So now it's more, I still love them. I am still in touch with them. But no one has any control over me other than me and only me.

PS: They are still my friends but I am my bestfriendssss.

Dated: 15–11–2021

Love yourself enough people :)